Story: Part 3

4 Significant that changed me:

1. Working with Beautiful
Beautiful was a program done by the Sanctuary Community Development Cooperation (the church's non-profit organization) that functioned as an after school program for middle school girls. It helped develop a sense of identity, promoted positive self esteem, helped the girls dream about their futures, get homework help, and basically just empower them in who they are as young, primarily African American girls living in North Minneapolis. ( I think I mentioned this in my previous post) Anyway, as I started the fall committing to 3 days a week, two hours a day, I was hesitant in how it would go. But I stuck with in the entire school year, and in brief what happened was this: I learned. I learned to be patient. I learned that trust takes time, that relationships will develop with consistency. I learned that I did have something to bring to the table, and that above all I needed to stay true to who I am. I learned about a different culture-I learned family values, I learned norms, I learned family values, I learned more about the fabric of North Minneapolis because I was entering into relationship with it. I learned to listen, and to ask questions. What happened changed me, challenged me, and pushed me beyond my own comfort. It moved beyond after school and homework, and went to movie nights and mall dates. I saw homes and siblings. I heard fights and tears. Struggles and joys.

2. I started taking a class called City Matters while I was working with Beautiful, sponsored also by the Sanctuary CDC. It is a teaching and discussion group, 8 weeks, that talks about issues of race, poverty, location, culture, and justice in the city. We explored these topics, watched videos, read material, and learned so much. My eyes were completely opened in a new way, I was challenged more than I ever have been, and I could feel my whole perspective and worldview being shifted. I left each class in awe, in confusion, passionate, frustrated, sad, excited....wondering what was going to happen. The part that was significant for me was the fact that I was learning all these things about injustice, the whys, racial disparities, etc-all while experiencing it firsthand with the girls in Beautiful. One class in particular we talked about how the economy in North Minneapolis is bad because the dollar doesn't stay there-people work and shop outside of its walls, and there is so much rental properties and people living month to month that all the money just goes right back out. I thought to myself that I cannot afford to put money into programs/schools/etc. on the northside, but if I moved there, I could shop there, and my money that I bring in would go into the neighborhood. I also was wrestling with the fact that after I left Beautiful each day, and this class, I drove back to my cute apartment in a nice area of St Paul away from all the issues. It was then that I felt God starting to convict my heart to move to North Minneapolis.

3. I asked Tryenyse, who was the leader of Beautiful, on day over soup and coffee if she would want to hang out more intentionally, on a regular basis, in a more mentorship sort of way. Funny at the time I was nervous to ask her, but we had been seeing each other regularly at Beautiful, sometimes we drove together, and sometimes we talked about the class over coffee. I felt a sort of connection to her and really desired her wisdom in my life. She of responded very enthusiastically to my request and of course I was very excited! That was in August of 2008. Since then we have had a beautiful, intentional, and multi-level friendship that has blessed me beyond words. I have since became sort of "adopted" into their family and spend countless hours doing ministry with her, her husband Stacey, and their son Priest. It has been a safehaven to hash out any questions or frustrations I have, a place to be honest about race and culture, about faith, about anything. Stacy and Tryenyse have a church called Urban Jerusalem:The City of Peace, that I began to attend on occasion at that time as well. (Ill talk about that later.) Little did I know the immense impact they would have in my life. All I can say is as I was sitting at church, listening to Tryenyse and Stacey lead hip-hop worship, I knew God was telling me to seek out friendship with Tryenyse. I am so glad I listened.

4. During all this change, growth, and learning I had a lot of "alone" time. I sought out time to be quiet before the Lord and listen for His voice. I learned so much in this time. He wanted me to find identity in Him. He wanted me to seek His heart for the world, to learn about His kingdom, and to be aware of His work all around me. Instead of asking "what are God's plans for me?" the questions shifted to "what is God doing in His world, and how can I join in?" That questions changed everything. My eyes started to see what He sees, my heart beats for what his beats for...what it cries over....what it delights in. I began to see where I was most passionate and also see that "the future" isn't so laid out before me. In fact, I knew nothing of it. God was calling me to the present, to hear Him in the now, to abide in Him, then to trust Him, and obey. I didn't know what was before me, but I knew He is faithful. At that point I stopped looking so ahead and started waking up to each day fully.

In the fall of 2008 to spring of 2009, these aspects of life changed me the most. It was a turning point for me, and all those things happening in harmony really impacted me beyond what I thought possible. In June of 2009 I moved out of my St Paul apartment knowing I needed to move to North Minneapolis. Not moving there would be completely disobeying God, I knew that full well, however absolutely did not want to. But I trusted He knew me better than I new myself. I left for a 5 week backpacking trip through Europe, and came back in August to start the next chapter of my life.