I had a week off, actually 9 days, from Aveda before the 4th. I ended up going on a camping trip with the girls I work with in Beautiful. The Sanctuary CDC, which I work for, received a grant to send kids to camp so we quickly put something together to make it happen. We were searching for girls to go up until the day before, but somehow managed to get 8 girls to come-2 from Beautiful, 3 from Community Covenant Church, and 2 from random connections, as well as student leader who went through the Beautiful program about 3 years ago. So I ventured out to Camp Amnicon on Sunday afternoon up in Wisconsin past Superior. We spent one night at the camp in a cabin, and 3 nights camping on the river, and the last night sleeping under the stars on the shores of Lake Superior. This was a dream of mine to do last year-when I had a year's worth of relationship with the girls in the program, and I knew them well. This trip made me somewhat nervous, as I was going into it only knowing two of the girls. Although I have worked with a lot of youth in my life, most of that has been with youth from similar cultural backgrounds as me-which is comfortable, familiar, and somewhat predictable. With Beautiful, I have learned and grown a lot, as well as been extremely out of comfortability considering how different of a background most of the girls I work with have from me. There are different issues, different expectations, different ways of communicating, and it is not predictable to me. It took a solid year to build the trust and relationships I had with the girls I worked with last year. Given that perspective, I was more hesitant in my capabilities to lead this trip with a group of girls that I had not met. But I had to trust God to guide, go on the encouragement of those around me, and realize there wasn't anyone else to do this! I have to say, it was definitely a challenge. Canoeing and camping at new sites for 4 days is hard work for anyone, let alone girls who had never done it before, and some who didn't even want to come in the first place. Besides fear of ticks and poison ivy, there was intense fear of water and falling in, of not being able to canoe, of darkness, and the unknown. Amidst negative attitudes, persistent nagging to help the guides load and unload canoes, treks in the woods to gather firewood, setting up tents, cold weather-these girls really survived! I will not lie-there were intense moments, times of full out fights, coping with difficult home lives, and times of utter frustration for the girls-but it was something I would do again. (Maybe not for 6 days, and maybe not as intense of a camp....) I learned that these girls really can do anything, even if it seems impossible. I learned I do have the capabilities to lead, even if it is different than what is conventional, I learned to be the peace amidst the storm, I learned to patiently push forward and quietly encourage even if it seems useless. I felt much joy from seeing these 8 young women do something they had never done before, and pride in their abilities. I felt deeply saddened and totally confused (i still do) at some of the lives these girls have to live. There are no answers to my "whys" and I don't understand what it all means and what needs to be done. I was filled with laughter at the silliness of that middle school age, and also filled with sorrow for how much they experience in their young lives that should not be. I know God is faithful to His children, He knows how to reach across cultural barriers through a willing heart and gently teach and guide. Also there a lot of differences in our upbringing and what they are experiencing than what I did at that age, there is a lot the same. I found myself remembering back to those years in my life and remembering what I needed, what I thought was important, and trying to figure out who I wanted to be-and seeing myself in the girls I was with. That was delightful.
All in all, I am thankful I did this as I knew I would be. Was I ready to leave at the end? Oh yes-I fully reached my limit. In a good way ;)
