Simple as rocks

So I am pretty much signing off of my original plans for lent, like i said before, of exploring different causes I can learn and grow in each week. I am not abandoning them completely, because I think those things I had in mind are important-however as of now I find myself busier than usual and in my down time I prefer not to be researching. The vegetarian thing is enough to make me think, so I'll just think on that for awhile. Plus, another aspect of lent that I appreciate is the way it makes me slow down a bit to reflect on who I am and who God asks us to be in light of the Cross. I am not nearly devoting enough time to this and it is evident-I am feeling almost disoriented lately and I attribute that to not enough BEING. There is too much DOING and, while they are good things, I need to rest in mercy and grace God is providing. I also need to stop and listen awhile.
Part of this has to do with the fact that the majority of my time is spent in a place that isn't really me. I think the environment that you are in most really will affect you, and to me it is important that it gives you rest and peace. And while I genuinely love and enjoy going to Aveda, it is a little out of my element and not restful. I find my mind wandering to places like Covenant Pines and daydreaming the whole length of the time i spend running. I need to figure out the balance....
I spent some time with the three most precious children in my life this weekend (Lucia, Sofia, and my neicey Aleeya), which is always refreshing and rejuvenating. They bring a lot of joy to me, but also their lives exude a simplicity I learn from. Luci and I went out in the backyard to enjoy the fresh spring breeze trying to break forth and I just followed her around. She went in her swing and giggled the whole time-maybe just from the sheer pleasure of her whispy blonde hair blowing back and forth, or from her feet dangling in the air, for from the wind hit her face as she went back and forth. After swinging she found a spot filled with uniform rocks filling in the space around a garage. She squatted down and picked up and put down rocks, studying them carefully and speaking her baby language with convincing inflection in her voice. Occasionally one would be handed to me with an "ooh" sort of wonderment. The peace in those moments reminded me that life can be as simple as rocks-just enjoying something in creation, inspecting all aspects of it, and then looking again. I love what can be seen through the eyes of an 20 month old child.



Another note, congratulations to my sister and my NEW brother in-law, who got married this past Monday! Here are some pictures of the occasion:

Aleeya was happy about it too:

The fam:

Full Circle.

(the pic has nothing to do with the blog content, but isn't she beautiful?)
So I am not living up to my Lenten expectations. First of all, i may have jumped the gun on vegetarianism. After Lent I am going to be a "practicing vegetarian" until I figure it out. I truly feel God has prompted this in me, and if i just write it off as having too many variables and questions to it and eat meat anyway, then I'll stop thinking about it. As long as I am not eating it, it will force me to explore that more and more and make a decision that I feel is what God is showing me and asking me to do in my life. For now, this is what I need to do. So until an unforeseen time...I shall not partake in meat. Fish? That is another research day.
My goal for last week was to pick something else I feel is important, which was going to be fair trade coffee. However I never actually sat down to do it. I still haven't. I know enough to want to choose it whenever possible, but I am not passionate about it to only drink fair trade. That is dumb...so I want to explore it more however I have not. So there. Hopefully I will, because this was something I wanted to do weekly! The weeks are moving along quickly!
Last night as i debated looking up fair trade stuff, instead I pulled out a journal from last year, (which I do on occasion) and flipped to March of 08. It was my last entry to my "Africa journal" which is a journal i kept in kenya, and i continued to write in it when I had thoughts that pertained. It was encouraging to look back on it, affirming, and also awesome to see the way God works in me and through me and never stops, He just keeps pushing and pressing and leading, and loving. So I think I'll be ultra vulnerable and share this last entry, which I entitled "Full Circle" (which is also a fave Storyhill song of mine...)

3-3-08.
Who are you? That is the main theme/question of City Matters class tonight. (Which, by the way, is completely messing up my life for the record...) it is an intriguing question because I feel like i've really been hit with this question this past fall in sort of an indirect way. For so long my identity and worth has been wrapped up in what I am doing-from being at Bethel, a captain of the hockey team, volunteering, mentoring, being a good daughter, friend, etc.-Then it was focused on going to Africa and being "used" by God there, being a savior of some sort-my worth tied up in being a missionary. When i felt like I failed at that, i came back to the US tring to build up my identity and worth again with something else. Looking back the last 1 1/2 years of my life has been the most difficult. I felt the most dissatisfied and lonely and incomplete. Joyless. That load has slowly been lifted over the past 4 months or so for a very significant reason. I stopped. I quit DOING for God. I quit trying to measure up-in my relationships with friends and family, in the things I was doing. And you know, I thought I would find fulfillment in my new job. But guess what?!? I didn't! Isn't it wonderful? I don't even like it that much. That is my final confirmation that it does not matter what i do-I need to wrap myself up in the simple fact that I am a daughter of the King! Created in the image of the one and only Lord! Loved by my Creator! Fearfully and wonderfully made! That's it-it is so simple and profound and absolutely hard to believe. How can my whole worth and my entire identity depend on that? It is so hard to grasp. But, honestly, for the first time in about 2 yearsI am finally being restored to the Joy of the Lord and being satisfied in Him. And it is not because I'm dong anything spectacular, or because I figured out my "calling" or what I should do with my life. It's purely because I am letting myself come before my Maker and let Him speak to my heart in those quiet ways I have been too noisy to hear. I am coming on my knees to Jesus, the Savior, letting down my hair and pouring the perfume of my life out over His feet. It has been so uncomfortable at times and full of tension, but very freeing when I really let God speak. I feel like I'm being born again. I often have the experience of being so in love with Jesus and so excited to be in the most incredible story of God that I could almost throw up. I am not kidding. This is one of the most important lessons I could be learning, I pray it won't stop. The more I am learning in City Matters about poverty, city issues, racial issues, and the Justice of God-the more my life is getting screwed up. I love learning about it, and I am hungry for more knowledge-however now I KNOW and I can't pretend I don't, so now I have to take action. That is what is messing me up. I can't be honest before Jesus if I am not obedient to Him in what He is pressing on my heart. Now i have to move to North Minneapolis and try to live in intentional community there. Jesus help me. I do pray you work that out, and who me how to move and where to be.......

(the rest is a prayer)....it ends in saying God is so faithful.

Isn't He so faithful??? I love taking the time to reflect on where I have been and how He has lead my into the now.

Lent continued....

It is very typical for people to give up something for Lent. I find a lot of people just choose something that isn't a "healthy" habit and give it up, not thinking about the true reasons we are called to fast. This is unfortunate because sacrifice is a beautiful, difficult, and growing time during Lent!
I have practiced fasting from something during Lent, first as a child not knowing the significance, and later as an adult after I discovered the beauty and holiness in it. I have given up some typical things, and also some rather strange ones-but all with the intent of drawing nearer to Christ, depriving myself of a luxury to focus on what really matters, and doing a small sacrifice to reflect the true sacrifice Christ made on the Cross of Calvary. For the past three months or so I have been trying to think of what I should do. I also think it is important to not only grow in piety to God but also be called into action from what I give up. I wanted to focus each week on different social justice issues or things that actively bring me to live God's Kingdom here on earth. As I was pondering this, I felt God prompting me to give up meat. I thought, "that's nice, but why?" I always ask people who are vegetarians why they are so, I have not heard one answer that would ever convince me to do it myself. I sort of knew that eating meat isn't very good for the environment, and I have never really looked into the treatment of animals when it comes to eating it. The closest I have gotten to actively pursuing justice for animals in my food consumption is buying eggs from free-range farms. And even that I don't totally know why....
So I will tell you my initial reasonings for giving meat up for lent, and then go into why I have now decided to be a vegetarian. (Yikes I can't believe I just wrote that.)
1. In third world countries, meat is a luxury. When I was in Kenya meat was cooked only for a big celebration (we killed the fatted goat) or when we were hosting someone special. I also has chicken when I was invited somewhere, which was maybe twice. Even then, it is not the "choice cuts" and you eat every last bit-I watched a women scrape out the marrow and eat it. If I choose to not eat meat, I will think about the rest of the world that doesn't get that luxury and yet another thing that sets me apart as way upper class compared to most of the world.

2. Not eating meat will help me reflect on the sanctity of life. By not eating meat, I am respected the animal that would have been slaughtered. I also want to think about what the sanctity of life means: from the factory farmed animal, to the child sold into sex-trade slavery, to the AIDS orphan, to the drug addict down the street, to the homeless man on the corner, to the single mom trying to raise 5 kids by herself, to the child who dies because of lack of clean water, to the iraqi child, to the lonely old man with no one to visit him, to the aborted baby that could have been, and I could go on and on.
So those were my initial lenten reasons, and they still hold true. Anyone who knows me knows I am a self-proclaimed carnivore. I love steak and fried chicken and wings and corn dogs and the like. So this is really making me think as I grab the vegetarian choice! I LOVE MEAT!

Okay, so now onto why I decided to become a vegetarian for real. Oh man I cannot believe this is happening to me. Okay read on friends....
1. Becoming a vegetarian is the number one way to reduce your carbon footprint. Eating meat is like driving a big SUV. Worldwide livestock farming causes 18% of the worlds greenhouse emissions. All the world cars, boats, planes, and trains only account for 13% in comparison! I did not know that. Livestock farming also contributes to deforestation. Trees need to be cut down to make room for pastures and to grow food to feed the cows. More than 260 million acres in the U.S. alone has been cleared to grow grain to feed farmed animals. It is also a cause of extinction to indigenous plant species. "The impact of countless hooves and mouths over the years has done more to alter the type of vegetation and land forms of the West than all the water projects, strip mines, power plants, freeways, and subdivision developments combined."

2. Eating meat is very inefficient and promotes the continuation of poverty. It takes up to 16 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of edible meat. Let's think about where that 16 pounds of grain could go besides to make a one portion of a meal of me on an average night. Eating/farming meat is an inefficient use of grain. The price of grain has gone up significantly, which means more hunger throughout the world. And we are using grain to feed cows so the rich can enjoy a nice steak now and then. That is so messed up! Then think about the water used in meat production-1 pound of meat takes 50,000 liters of water. It just does not make sense to contribute to the livestock farming industry if I claim to care about the poor and hungry throughout the world.

3. It I believe God cares about His creation, and left humans in charge to care and love it, then I have to believe He cares just as much about His animals. And if the earth will indeed one day be reconciled, I think it is safe to assume He means ALL of His creation, not just humans. Therefore, I don't think God is pleased with the way we get our meat. As I have been researching, the treatment of animals in factory farming is horrific. As most of you know, I am not an "animal lover" by any means, but that doesn't mean I approve of torture to animals. Factory farming is just that. It is another example of how the privileged exploit the weak to get what we want. We want meat, we want it cheaper, therefore we inject animals with crazy chemicals, pack them into small quarters, never let them fully live, and torture them, and kill them inhumanely so we can save 2 dollars on a package of ground beef. Even as I right this I am realizing how sick this is. I know this was not God's intention for his creatures. But, here in America at least, we can turn off what we don't want to hear to not have to deal with the problem! We eat the meat without know what the animal has been through, we buy the shoes without thinking of the 7 year who made them in a third world, we drink the coffee without evening imagining the labor a poor farmer went through without getting a fair wage. That is how we function in our society.

These are my main reasons thus far. I will continue to explore it and ask questions. Like what about eating locally owned, farm raised poultry? How about milk, cheese, and eggs-how is the dairy industry affecting the world? I don't know yet. I am open to insights and discussions on this. Here are some links to interesting sources on all of this:
goveg.com
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5D8wSEHTbVk
http://www.alternet.org/story/12162
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1839995,00.html