sadness

today on the news i saw that a body was found here on the northside, it was a frozen in a vacant garage. She was fifteen years old, and 7 months pregnant. There are still a lot of unanswered questions, but she apparently was beaten to death. Her name was Annashalike Hamilton. This is the 37th and 38th homicide of Minneapolis this year. This is almost unbelievable.

before i moved here, i knew that north minneapolis was considered "dangerous" and a "bad" neighborhood. but i didn't know the stats. i hadn't heard the numbers. but most of all, i hadn't seen the faces. and although i've only lived here for 3 months, i am starting to let myself become knit into the fabric of this community. although i didnt know this young girl, i do know a number of teen girls that live over here that i am connected to. i know that this girl could have been one of them. that starts to hit my heart in a different way than if i had been sitting in my apartment in st. paul hearing this news.

from the news report online i clicked to see a homicide map in minneapolis. you can click on the little "H" and a name, age, and face and how they were murdered appears. it is awful. but it was reality.

i am not sure how to deal with these new realities that 1) i didn't realize existed, prior to last year, and 2) was not close enough to me and my community that i cared

the truth is , north Minneapolis has been hit the hardest with foreclosures. about 40% of people live below the poverty line. homelessness is prevalent as you drive in and out of the neighborhoods. a majority of the minneapolis homicides happen on the northside. for test scores in math and reading minneapolis students are under 50% proficiency. the mean income level is around $20,000 a year, with an average household of 3.5 people. i could spend more time looking up stats. but i think the point is clear.

i am just beginning to unwrap all of this, trying to learn the whys, the structures, the histories. and trying to figure out my place. i can't live here and ignore it, in fact i won't. what can my role? what is already happening here that i can be a part of? how do i begin to wrap my head around of these heavy, deep rooted issues?

I don't have answers to my questions, like a said, i have only lived here for 3 months. however i started investing over a year ago, and i see hope. and i happy to be a part of a community that, despite the obvious struggles, is tight knit. and take pride in their community. and people do watch out for each other. i like being in a place where people take the bus and walk a lot-and although i know this is not necessarily a choice, it gives a greater sense of community because people are outside, in each others presence.

there are a lot of good things happening here. people want change.
God still moves, and there is a light shining in the darkness.

my christmas

I really love Christmas, and I am trying to internalize the impact that the birth of a SAVIOR to a 16 year girl has on this world. Every year it blows my mind. One thing that has helped to wrap my mind around it a little, is trying to understand Kings. For us in the west, we live in a democracy where we all can have a voice (for the most part). The thought of a king doesn't mean much to me, as I have never experienced one. Even talk of the queen of England means nothing to me, she seem more like a celebrity than anyone I would curtsy in front of. But at the time of Christ's birth, Kings were a big deal. Death and life where at King Herod's command. He had all the wives he wanted. Many were under his commands. Then you have Jesus, a supposed king, who is born as a weak baby-helpless-to a young girl, outside. This is the king that is supposed to come to save a whole nation of people? It sounds absurd. So I am trying to let that impact me, and what it meant to the people of that time to have their Messiah be born in such a way.

On a different note, my christmas was quite relaxing. I spent Christmas eve with extended family, watching memories of christmas '88 and '89 on DVD. My mom and I went to Midnight Mass at the Cathedral, which was spectacular. on Chrismas day it was just my immediate family, including Hannah's fiance Efra. We ate a lot of food, shared gifts, and the highlight was going ice skating! Efra has never skating before and I thought it was hilarious. You can watch the two videos for yourself!

Happy Kwanzaa

I am interested in African American culture, so last year I did a little research on the origins and celebration of Kwanzaa. What I found was a beautiful holiday focusing on community, which i love.
It was created by African American scholar and social activist Ron Karenga in 1966. He states the goal was to "...give Blacks an alternative to the existing holiday and give Blacks an opportunity to celebrate themselves and history, rather than simply imitate the practice of the dominant society." The name Kwanzaa comes from the name "matunda ya kwanzaa" which means "first fruits" in Swahili. First fruit celebrations have went on in Africa as far back as ancient Egypt. In those traditional celebrations they had five activities: ingathering; reverence; commemoration; recommitment; and celebration. Deriving from that, Kwanzaa has seven principles, or Nguza Saba. They are each celebrated on their own day, beginning December 26 and ending on January 1.

The Nguzo Saba - The Seven Principles of Kwanzaa

Umoja (Unity)
To strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.

Kujichagulia (Self-Determination)
To define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.

Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility)
To build and maintain our community together and make our brother's and sister's problems our problems and to solve them together.

Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics)
To build and maintain our own stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together.

Nia (Purpose)
To make our collective vocation the building and developing of our community in order to restore our people to their traditional greatness.

Kuumba (Creativity)
To do always as much as we can, in the way we can, in order to leave our community more beautiful and beneficial than we inherited it.

Imani (Faith)
To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.

countercultural-i can't be selective.

two issues are heavy on my mind this christmas, things that i don't totally know how to deal with myself. consumerism and materialism. i am trying to figure out what it looks like to live in a culture that revolves around how much stuff we have, yet not be a part of it. and not even try to not to be a part of it, but actively persue ways of being counterculural in this way. i am going to be honest-just when i commit to not buying anything new, i walk into the gap and easily throw everything out the window. therefore, i would like to share a few sites that really have convicted me as well as helped shaped some of my thoughts on this issue. i do beleive if i am to truly strive after jesus, and live a life that he calls me to, i need to be bringing the kingdom in all the ways he asks, not just a few. i don't beleive the kingdom contains all the stuff i care so much about.
check out this : www.storyofstuff.com
: www.buynothingchristmas.org/
: www.adventconspiracy.org/
also this blog : www.sojo.net/blog/godspolitics/?p=870

I have returned.

I decided to now keep up on a blog. There are many things that run through my head all day, from conversations I have to events I go to and I would love to be able to share those in a public space to dialog with others, as well as share life together. So this will be my attempt at just that! I strongly believe community is where life is supposed to happen, and if this can bring me into closer community with the people in my life then I will try to be as authentic as possible with my thoughts and openly share what is going on in my life.
Much love